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Walking the path from struggle to strength  
 

I asked my clients to write a few words of feedback, advice or encouragement for people thinking about whether to start CBT, as they are the experts from experience. I’m sure you’ll be inspired about possibilities for change, when you read how far others have come!  I hope it also gives you a more detailed sense of how I could help you on your life journey, from those who have walked the path from struggle to strength themselves. There are no identifying details, not even first names or initials, as, to me, it‘s of utmost importance to protect peoples’ total confidentiality.
 

Better communication and relationships

It is unbelievable to see how much all of my relationships have improved! I can honestly say from my heart that I feel so much love for my family and friends that it brings a tear to my eye whenever I think about it and give thanks for it. They have also noticed as well and I can actually feel their love for me and see how they all only want the best for me. It is such a blessing to feel this. They can also see that I just want to live for the moment and enjoy my times with them. This gives me the strength and motivation to keep building upon my progress, as there is no way back, I could never go back to what I was before, I love my life just as it is and the only way is forward.”

In my CBT with Eleanor, the most valuable things I’ve learnt are: not trying to control everyone around me(!)… and to be more relaxed about things – not to worry and get so het up! I used to get het up almost for the sake of it but I now feel pretty chilled out about the same things! I I’ve learnt to appreciate my husband and parents much more, and that my daughter can be her own person. My daughter used to say “you’re always so controlling”, but now my daughter’s said that my son in law loves to come round! If you’re worried that therapy is only self indulgent, well that’s what I thought, and let me tell you, the relationship between three generations have improved as a result of my work and the ripple out effect it has had on everyone else”

CBT has helped me to recognise that all thoughts and actions have consequences – and that these can be helpful or unhelpful. This was something I was not taught in the way I was brought up, but it is something I am now able to teach my children and share with my colleagues in a healthy way.  Keeping myself grounded, calm and centred is a continual way of being that I now practice in relation to my kids and dealing with matters to do with their schooling. I’m much less judgemental towards others and I’m much more accepting of people – such as my children’s teachers - for who they are and where they are in life. This is a real freedom.  I feel like I’ve really matured and I now don’t feel I have to prove myself  - like having to prove “I am a good mum” or a good practitioner in my work. I’m much more able to sit with myself and not be the centre of attention! I feel I’ve really cracked it!! I now recognise that there’s something so attractive of being self-assured and not needing to be a drama queen! Now I’ve changed, I’m attracting so many good people in my life.”

By applying the awesome wisdom for life that Eleanor has helped me internalize, my relationships with family members and work colleagues have significantly improved. This is because I have changed. I am happier in myself and am more positive than I have ever been and when they see that, they match it. This has created more harmony between myself and others. I now appreciate me for who I am and others for who they are, rather than comparing and judging, which is very stressful! This is the first time in my life I have felt like this.”

As a result of my work with Eleanor, my relationships with my son and his wife have improved, as I’m much calmer and relaxed about their baby. I now totally accept my son for who he is and that he is his own person and has his own thought processes. I now feel happy about the way I brought him up and feel strong love and care about him, but not a need to control or over-worry about him. Also with my granddaughter, I feel a natural love and not a need to interfere. The rewards I have got from that are unbelievable – we all get on so well. I now feel people can see the real me. If I hadn’t done CBT I’d still be really controlling and obsessive. I have now developed a much softer, more gentle side. I think I’m not so argumentative with my mother as well – we’ve always been close, but I feel like we have much more in common and I don’t feel competitive with her. I now understand her love for me so much more, now that I have gone deeper into my love for my son and daughter in law and granddaughter. It’s so nice that we all get on – I’m so happy! A year ago I wouldn’t have imagined that we would all be like this. I have almost like a friendship relationship with my daughter in law and I feel like I have a daughter as well as a son. The fact that we all get on has also brought great joy to my mum.”

I finally discovered the real reason to be alive: is to enjoy it!”

— Rita Mae West