Finding freedom and purpose
Helping people free themselves from struggles and gain the tools to thrive is what I’m passionate about. I have 20 years’ experience as a therapist, helping people gain strength, skill and insight in the midst of challenges. I’ve found that bringing evidence-based Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and coaching together really brings out the best in people. It helps swift progress, with immediate and long-term benefits. My specialist training and personal style is focused on encouraging, practical and creative teamwork. I believe in pursuing effective results in a way that's supportive of your whole wellbeing. I can help you develop this healthy balance for yourself.
Difficulties I can help you with
Over the years, I have focused my attention on empowering people to live with greater vitality, wisdom and freedom.
I have also built up specialist skills in the following areas:
overcoming depression, procrastination and low drive
handling stress, anxiety, anger and mood swings healthily
overcoming panic, worry and difficulty sleeping
freedom from unhelpful habits, addictions, OCD, perfectionism
transforming self identity, body image, weight and sexual issues
healing the pain of grief, guilt, trauma and betrayal
resolving inner conflict and conflict with others
finding realistic solutions to complex issues
Helping people thrive
turning aims, ideas, hopes and goals into successful reality
building confidence, authenticity and self esteem
building strength and resilience in the midst of challenges
adapting to life changes and turning points with flexibility and self care
navigating complex situations with expanded awareness and skill
building deeper connection, presence, trust and intimacy
enhancing effective communication, empathy and respectful assertiveness
connecting to a deeper sense of harmony, happiness and peace
My approach is to work as a creative and collaborative team with all my clients. Listening to feedback, I’m delighted that people find working with me to be very encouraging, practical, and down to earth. I like helping people really DO what matters – not just talk about it!
About CBT and why it works so well
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is an umbrella term for several approaches that have a very strong basis in up-to-the-minute research.
CBT has developed out of evidence about what really works to help people positively change, adapt and move forward.
All CBT models are designed to help you develop the tools to constructively respond to the challenges you’re facing and to achieve greater wellbeing throughout your life. They are specifically aimed at helping you in three core areas:
develop helpful thinking styles
manage difficult feelings
take empowered action to do things differently
CBT works because it significantly increases your awareness of both unhelpful and helpful patterns of thinking and reacting, to help you step out of autopilot and default reactions. It helps you make more insightful choices that generate better outcomes for yourself and others.
CBT is highly effective because it is constructive and practical: it helps you learn skills and strategies to handle difficult emotions, situations, and relationships in a creative and grounded way.
CBT is designed to be applied very flexibly. This means you can adapt CBT tools to suit the different contexts and changes in your life.
As long as you live, keep learning how to live”
What you can gain from CBT with me
Examples of CBT working
Are thoughts or feelings leading to problems in your confidence, mood, or decision making?
All of us are subject to a regular barrage – and long history – of wildly unrealistic but commonly accepted misinformation about what we should be doing, thinking and feeling! A scientific understanding of body-brain evolution, and how our stress-hormone system works can quickly change that. I've worked with thousands of people who've got into vicious cycles by trying to eradicate and suppress certain thoughts and feelings, simply not having been taught how to work with, through, and around them in a more discerning way.
I really like how CBT encourages therapists to be transparent about all their methods and share relevant research with their clients. It's brilliant to see the lightbulb effect of a crash course in relationship neuroscience! Instead of unworkable ideals, I can help you learn methods to look at situations from balanced and expanded perspectives, and to regulate your emotions, moods and stress levels in ways that look after your whole wellbeing.
I use CBT to help people cultivate a new attitude towards their mind and body, a new way to think about thinking, and a new way to respond to their emotions. Many people tell me this is a huge relief. I teach people how to develop a stronger, more grounded stance, from which to respond more flexibly and spontaneously to life’s complexity. I can teach you how to spot when your thoughts are beginning to operate through tunnel vision or biased filters, and how to rapidly put on the brakes and shift gear into a clearer, calmer thinking state.
Learning to train your ability to focus on what’s actually happening in the present moment, is very helpful in stepping out of repetitive worry, over planning, or over-analysis. You can super-charge literally thousands of hours of thinking time by learning creative strategies, to prevent your mind and brain struggling more than it needs to!
Have you got stuck in habits that are backfiring on you or affecting your opinion of yourself?
If you’ve got into a compulsive habit such as over-eating, binge drinking, smoking, overspending, drug use, or hair pulling, I can help you gently and precisely gain insight into what's keeping you stuck. My clients often discover that their habit is in part fuelled by subconscious beliefs and repetitive conditioning, and in part, a quick fix strategy to "override" or "deal with" several unmet needs; the natural need for validation, reassurance, encouragement, celebration, soothing, rest, energy, or a breathing space, for example.
Once we understand your actual needs, I will then help you steadily cultivate more healthy, stable habits for taking attuned and caring action towards yourself and your body. I can help you overcome avoidance, get out of “autopilot”, and into making more purposeful, motivated, meaningful and conscious choices. Learning how to positively keep yourself on track and to quickly re-route when you start heading off course is especially important. Tackling things in a manageable and encouraging way with a concrete plan, and tool kit for handling life’s multi-challenges, is core to CBT’s success.
I’ve spent many thousands of hours helping people develop personalised strategies to handle tricky feelings, uncertain situations and specific scenarios with new resources rather than old habits. I also use CBT to capitalize on the wisdom and confidence you can gain to break out of old patterns, by shining the torch on your inner attributes and developments - so easily overlooked in the fast pace of the day playing out, and the mind’s negative bias towards things not accomplished (…yet!).
Are you getting negatively affected by someone else's attitude or behaviour?
I can use CBT strategies to help you notice your mind’s assumptions, and separate fact from interpretation. Having a scientific awareness of the natural vulnerabilities and self protection modes we humans share (a lot due to evolution) can usefully balance the minds’ tendency to assume it’s all personal!
Learning rapid self-calming techniques, so you can quickly “drop an anchor” in the face of your own waves of emotion, or someone else’s storm can have huge knock on benefits. I can help you in developing astute and centered ways of responding flexibly and spontaneously as the moment unfolds - rather than reacting in ways that you later regret.
Developing thoughtful insight into the many human needs we all have in common, and how to mediate between your own priorities and other peoples’, are powerful interpersonal skills. I can teach you how to rapidly adopt a place of wise advisor towards yourself and others in difficult dynamics. Rather than just suppressing or acting it out, my approach to CBT can help you get a happier balance between regulating intense emotion for yourself, as well as building bridges with others - even when you’re both really struggling. This could be to raise difficult issues and make requests for change, with a healthy, hearty style of honesty and assertiveness. I really like helping people increase the chances of win-win, rather than win-loose!
Would you like to enhance the quality of your relationships or communication style?
Taking the time to look at ways to best navigate the unique and multi layered dynamics of each individual relationship is often essential. Better communication and connection in our relationships needs a thoughtful consideration about the specific skills with which to nimbly respond to all those subtle shifts that take place in any human interaction, moment-to-moment. This could include helping you build greater listening skills, openness, and bravery to be genuine, and to demonstrate more active empathy, understanding and appreciation, which has a great bounce back and ripple out when other people feel more cared about and open to reciprocate more fully.
A key challenge for us all is how to develop a mature kind of faith in human nature. Faith that also makes room for the inevitability of change, uncertainty, disappointment and loss, as well as letting go into shared tenderness, joy and compassion. I can help you fine-tune your attentiveness, emotional intelligence and courage to navigate the intricate complexities of being more intimate sexually and emotionally, with others.
Find and express your authentic self. I can help you…
stop pretending to be who you aren't, and allow your genuine qualities to come through
be more assertive and reliable with your boundaries and commitments: Make your no mean no and your yes mean yes
be more realistic: perfectionism can be tweaked without loosing your standards
Build deeper connection with others. I can help you…
help others feel secure enough to be truthful with you
shift out of defensiveness, into empathetic and powerful communication
be more attentive, expressive, and demonstrative, to show you care
…feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are like messengers that show us with marvellous clarity exactly where we’re stuck! Rather than being squeamish and backing away, we could instead perk up and take a jolly helpful look!"
— Pema Chodron
Life long positive impact
CBT is recommended as the number one “talking therapy” in national clinical guidelines because extensive research shows that it really does work. Not only for swifter outcomes, but also for long term psychological flexibility, to help you adapt to future challenges, and to maintain your wellbeing in the face of inevitable change.
As long as you’re willing to actively participate in your own process of self-help, research demonstrates that CBT is very effective for developing your long term strength:
resilience to stress
recovery after trauma or loss
balanced self image
problem solving and decision making skills
ability to learn from experience more rapidly
ability to adapt to change
confidence and self esteem
assertiveness and clear communication skills
awareness, empathy and compassion
sense of purpose and meaning to your life
clarity and commitment to your personal values
positive sense of identity
A key advantage is that CBT is very practical. It recognizes that living, relating and “being human” will always be complex for all of us. It is therefore designed to help you in the actual context of any life area, in a realistic way.
Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings…”
— Eleanor Roosevelt
By applying CBT to your life, you can expect to see lasting change:
effectiveness and confidence
improved health and wellbeing
increased life satisfaction
Thanks to the process of CBT and Eleanor’s guidance, I’m much more calm these days. Rather than letting things escalate to the point of stress-out, I now evaluate what is going on, coach myself with more constructive thoughts and end up making firm decisions, because I can now trust in myself.”
An approach to suit you
I’ve developed a multi faceted approach that is very flexible. It will be tailored to your unique needs, aims and circumstances. 18 years’ experience as a therapist means I can quickly pinpoint core issues and psychological mechanisms that are keeping you stuck. I can make a bespoke "toolkit" for you, with practical steps, techniques and strategies for change, right from the start of our teamwork.
We will create a helpfully realistic approach to best suit your current life context, preferences and learning style. I will give you any assistance you may need to get clear about your needs and goals. We will make a practical plan to help you meet them most effectively. We will adapt and refine this as we go, to keep responding to your progress and fresh insight.
We will look at how to create the kind of teamwork that will be most encouraging and supportive to you. We will ensure that you have clarity and motivation about what you can do in between sessions to help yourself move forwards.
You can meet with me in person, or via phone or Skype – whichever method would fit best with the context of your life.
You’re welcome to book as many or as few sessions as you wish. Usually people book 6 sessions at a time, as this creates a focussed and realistic momentum for positive change.
Deciding what’s best for you
If you’re not yet decided on whether to get started with CBT and Coaching, it could be helpful for you to have a consultation to clarify your needs, explore options and get more information. I can help you consider different approaches, and give you a better idea of how CBT could specifically work for you. You can also get a sense of whether we are likely to make a good team match.
You’re welcome book an in-depth face to face assessment, or take advantage of my offer of a free telephone consultation of up to 30 minutes. Alternatively, just call me for a quick, straightforward chat.