Examples of CBT, ACT & CFT working

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Are thoughts or feelings leading to problems in your confidence, mood, or decision making?

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All of us are subject to a regular barrage – and long history – of wildly unrealistic but commonly accepted misinformation about what we should be doing, thinking and feeling! A scientific understanding of body-brain evolution, and how our stress-hormone system works can quickly change that. I've worked with thousands of people who've got into vicious cycles by trying to eradicate and suppress certain thoughts and feelings, simply not having been taught how to work with, through, and around them in a more discerning way.

I really like how all mainstream and contemporary CBT approaches such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Compassion Focussed Therapy encourage therapists to be transparent about all their methods and share relevant research with their clients. It's brilliant to see the lightbulb effect of a crash course in relational neuroscience for example! Instead of unworkable ideals, I can help you learn methods to look at situations from balanced and expanded perspectives, and to regulate your emotions, moods and stress levels in ways that look after your whole wellbeing.

I use CBT, ACT and CFT to help people cultivate a new attitude towards their body-mind-brain, a new way to "think about thinking", and a new way to respond to their feeling-states. Many people tell me this is a huge relief. I teach people how to develop a stronger, more grounded stance, from which to respond more flexibly and spontaneously to life’s complexity. I can teach you how to spot when your thoughts are beginning to operate through tunnel vision or biased filters, and how to rapidly put on the brakes and shift gear into a clearer, calmer, wiser thinking state. 

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Learning to train your ability to focus on what’s actually happening in the present moment, is very helpful in stepping out of repetitive worry, over planning, or over-analysis. You can super-charge literally thousands of hours of thinking time by learning creative strategies, to prevent your mind and brain struggling more than it needs to! 

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Have you got stuck in habits that are backfiring on you or affecting your opinion of yourself?

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If you’ve got into a compulsive habit such as over-eating, binge drinking, smoking, overspending, drug use, or hair pulling, I can help you gently and precisely gain insight into what's keeping you stuck. CBT, ACT, CFT and Schema Therapy are all really useful models for this. My clients often discover that their habit is in part fuelled by subconscious beliefs and repetitive conditioning, and in part, a quick fix strategy to "override" or "deal with" several unmet needs; the natural need for validation, reassurance, encouragement, celebration, soothing, rest, energy, or a breathing space, for example.

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Once we understand your actual needs, I will then help you steadily cultivate more healthy, stable habits for taking attuned and caring action towards yourself and your body. I can help you overcome avoidance, get out of “autopilot”, and into making more purposeful, motivated, meaningful and conscious choices. Learning how to positively keep yourself on track and to quickly re-route when you start heading off course is especially important. Tackling things in a manageable and encouraging way with a concrete plan, and tool kit for handling life’s multi-challenges, is core to success.

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I’ve spent many thousands of hours helping people develop personalised strategies to handle tricky feelings, uncertain situations and specific scenarios with new resources rather than old habits. I also use CBT, ACT and CFT to capitalize on the wisdom and confidence you can gain to break out of old patterns, by shining the torch on your inner attributes and developments - so easily overlooked in the fast pace of the day playing out, and the mind’s negative bias towards things not accomplished (…yet!).

Are you getting negatively affected by someone else's attitude or behaviour?

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I can use CBT, ACT, CFT and Schema Therapy strategies to help you notice your mind’s assumptions, and separate fact from interpretation. Having a scientific awareness of the natural vulnerabilities and self protection modes we humans share (a lot due to evolution) can usefully balance the minds’ tendency to assume it’s all personal!

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Learning rapid self-calming techniques, so you can quickly “drop an anchor” in the face of your own waves of emotion, or someone else’s storm can have huge knock on benefits. I can help you in developing astute and centered ways of responding flexibly and spontaneously as the moment unfolds - rather than reacting in ways that you later regret.

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Developing thoughtful insight into the many human needs we all have in common, and how to mediate between your own priorities and other peoples’, are powerful interpersonal skills. I can teach you how to rapidly adopt a place of wise advisor towards yourself and others in difficult dynamics. Rather than just suppressing or acting it out, my approach to CBT, ACT, CFT and Schema Therapy can help you get a happier balance between regulating intense emotion for yourself, as well as building bridges with others - even when you’re both really struggling. This could be to raise difficult issues and make requests for change, with a healthy, hearty style of honesty and assertiveness. I really like helping people increase the chances of win-win, rather than win-loose!

Would you like to enhance the quality of your relationships or communication style?

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Taking the time to look at ways to best navigate the unique and multi layered dynamics of each individual relationship is often essential. Better communication and connection in our relationships needs a thoughtful consideration about the specific skills with which to nimbly respond to all those subtle shifts that take place in any human interaction, moment-to-moment. This could include helping you build greater listening skills, openness, and bravery to be genuine, and to demonstrate more active empathy, understanding and appreciation, which has a great bounce back and ripple out when other people feel more cared about and open to reciprocate more fully.

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A key challenge for us all is how to develop a mature kind of faith in human nature. Faith that also makes room for the inevitability of change, uncertainty, disappointment and loss, as well as letting go into shared tenderness, joy and compassion. I can help you fine-tune your attentiveness, emotional intelligence and courage to navigate the intricate complexities of being more intimate sexually and emotionally, with others.